Oh the back to school blues… How I despise you. You know, you think after having 15 years of schooling experience, you would be used to new school year anxiety but no. Even though school has been a huge part of my life and I know I work hard and subsequently do well, I cannot help but think that this will be the year it all falls to shit for me. This will be the time I fail miserably and end up working at McDonald’s due to the fact that my permanent record has been irreversibly blemished. Normal for anyone else? Probably not, but stressed out freak is in fact my middle name 😉 In all honesty, I didn’t intend for my blog to be a place where all my neuroses are so obviously seen in 500 words or less, but I just cannot help it. Sorry to all of my readers, but if I am not stressed about one thing, I am stressed about another. I guess that’s what makes me, ME (although it is apparent that this quirk of mine is simultaneously draining and annoying).
As I may have mentioned before, I am currently an English/Communications double major and journalism minor. I have to be honest though and say that I am not 100% sure it will stay like this due to the fact that I CANNOT make up my mind about what I want to do with my future, and as someone who obsessively makes lists, carries a student planner at all times and likes to have things planned out far in advance, this is VERY FRUSTRATING. I want to do something I love, but I also want to be secure financially. I want to be able to take care of my family. I want to work somewhere that makes me happy, that makes me excited. I want to do something that is important. I know it is normal to struggle with these questions and “I’m young and have the rest of my life to figure it out…” blah blah blah but (and excuse me for being impatient) I want to know what I am supposed to do NOW. I want to have that feeling of utter confidence and assuredness in my future career move. Haven’t I busted my butt enough to deserve that peace of mind? Call me type A, but so far I am not seeing the fun in the journey that so many people talk about.
I apologize for my ranting, but I feel like this is the only place I can get these questions that are nagging my brain off of my chest. If you read my blog, I hope my posts either A) make you realize that I am, quite possibly, the craziest person known to man which contributes to you feeling better about yourself or B) realize that you are not alone in the never-ending stress in which life is a result of.
If anyone has a magic, “answers all of life’s questions” elixir, please pass it to me. Lord knows I need it.
Also, good luck to everyone going back to school. I pray that this year is nothing short of wonderful for you.