I am happy to say that I have improved since my stress freak out last week. Whereas last Sunday I was home, crying and not wanting to go back, this Sunday I napped, ran and spent time with friends. The not wanting to do homework part hasn’t changed, I have a huge paper hanging over my head, I am still broke and finals are next week but I must say I feel much better. I feel less stressed. I feel content.
I think I realized that going home might be the problem. Don’t get me wrong… I LOVE home. I LOVE my mom. I LOVE my pets. I LOVE my family. and I especially LOVE having an oven to use and free laundry. But the thing is, going home is bittersweet. I am allowed to relax and not worry about school incessantly, but going home rips me out of my routine. Being very much a Type A, I like having my daily schedule. Home pulls me out of that routine. And going back to school is THEE hardest thing, ever. Who would want to leave their family and pets to go back to stress and being a grown-up? UGH. It sucks.
This doesn’t mean I won’t go home. Hell, I am looking forward to Christmas break ridiculously much. I just hope that I can find a balance over break so it won’t be pulling teeth to get me to go back. I need to appreciate the fact that I have a home to go to but need to accept that I am growing up, hopefully on to bigger and better things, and no matter the inevitable stress, it is all going to be worth it.