So in the last few years or so, I have realized that my movie viewing experience has been extremely limited. I didn’t ever think it was a problem though until recently. Growing up, I of course watched all of the Disney movies ever made, with a strong emphasis on the princess films. I then grew up and transitioned into cheesy teen movies ultimately finding comfort in romantic films. How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, The Wedding Singer, The Wedding Date, Something’s Gotta Give, The Notebook etc. are what I chose to view. I don’t like scary movies and action movies are whatever, so I constantly chose these puff pieces pumped with love, great settings, and attractive men. Now, these are perfect to watch when you want to let your mind relax. They’re cute and don’t make you think too much. Sounds like a great scenario, right? Wrong.
I have come to the conclusion that Hollywood’s portrayal of love has warped me and given me completely unrealistic expectations of relationships. While these films are supposed to make you happy, I have realized that the long-term effect is sadness and a never ending feeling of wanting something that just isn’t real. I’ve spent my whole life watching films that 1) give unrealistic ideas of how a girl should act and 2) create dramatic scenarios that will NEVER happen.
Disney promotes this idea that I should be in distress and get my man by being rescued. Because I am an independent, self-sufficient woman, I have been blaming myself as to why I am alone. Do I not have a boyfriend because I can take care of myself? Should I act more air-headed, like I need a man around to help me at all times or I just can’t function? It appears that I am single because I can rescue myself. As Disney has shown, guys don’t like that. How am I supposed to change who I am, though?
It has gotten to the point where I am convinced that, because I am smart and able to take care of myself, that I am just going to be single.
As if it wasn’t bad enough to feel like I am alone because I am successful these films create these grand scenarios that just won’t happen.
I am not going to have a guy propose to me in a Tiffany’s store, telling me to pick whatever ring I want. I am not going to have someone chase me down on moped. I am not going to have someone write me love letters everyday for an entire year.
These things just do not happen, and while I realize that these portrayals are inaccurate, I can’t help but feed into it. And since my love life is pretty much non-existent at the moment, all of these movie scenes play in my mind and make the hurt of being alone that much worse. I am waiting for my prince to emerge out of nowhere, tell me that he loves me for everything I am and we run off happily ever after, but it is not going to happen.
My life is not a movie. I am not cut from the same cloth as the Disney princesses.