Sometimes I wish I was in a coma.
Because then I would be existing but on the simplest level.
I would not have to feel. I would not have to constantly be reminded that the rock bottom I hit before wasn’t actually my rock bottom. I would not have to constantly be let down.
I could merely breathe.
I would not feel responsible for others’ problems. I would not exhaust myself by overextending.
It is too heavy.
I do not know if I am strong enough.
I do not want to be an apathetic person, but what good comes from feeling everything too deeply?
Maybe it would be easier to be numb.
Maybe it would be easier to be heartless.